A “breadcrumber” is someone who sends out flirtatious, but non-committal messages (“breadcrumbs”) to keep another person interested without actually investing in a relationship.
Dealing with a breadcrumber can be confusing and frustrating.
In this article we’ll discover 20 best responses that you can send to a breadcrumber when you’re being breadcrumbed.
Let’s begin!
Best Response to a Breadcrumber
The best response is, “Hey, I’ve noticed that our conversations are sporadic and don’t really lead anywhere. I’m looking for something a bit more consistent and meaningful. It seems like we might not be on the same page, and that’s okay. I just wanted to be honest about what I’m looking for.”
These are 20 best responses to a breadcrumb:
1. “Let’s meet up!”
If someone is only talking to you off and on, a good move is to ask them to meet up in person. This way, you get to see if they’re really interested in spending time with you.
By asking to meet, you’re letting them know you’re into more than just texting back and forth. You’re making it their turn to show if they’re serious about you.
2. “Sounds fun, when are you thinking?”
This reply keeps the conversation light and upbeat while asking for specific details. It shows you’re interested in meeting but also gently nudges the other person to make a solid plan.
This approach is useful for figuring out if someone is truly interested in meeting up or if they’re just stringing you along without intending to take things further.
3. “You seem busy. Let me know when you’re free.”
This answer is polite but makes it clear that you’re not just waiting around. It shows that you see they’re busy and leaves it up to them to contact you when they’re less busy.
This way, if they never get back to you, it might show that they’re not really interested.
4. “Can’t wait to catch up, set a date?”
This reply is full of excitement and nudges the other person to pick a specific time.
By asking when you can meet, you show that you’re really looking forward to seeing them again but also check if they’re genuinely interested in getting together.
This approach is great for figuring out if someone is just making conversation or if they actually want to hang out.
5. “Great hearing from you, are you around this weekend?”
This message shows you’re happy they got in touch and jumps right into seeing if they’re free to hang out soon.
It’s a quick way to check if they’re actually interested in meeting up.
If they dodge the invite or aren’t clear about when they’re available, it could mean they’re not all that into making plans with you.
6. “I’ve been looking forward to chatting more, when’s good for you?”
This response shows you’re excited to chat more and moves the conversation towards planning a specific time to talk more deeply.
It’s a good way to check if the other person is interested in a more meaningful conversation or if they prefer to keep things light.
7. “Your plans always sound interesting, let’s do one of them!”
When you say this, you’re basically telling the other person you find their ideas fun and you’re interested in joining them.
It’s a friendly way to show you like what they’re up to and would be happy to be part of their adventures.
8. “Hey, I really enjoy our chats, can we plan a coffee soon?”
This method is straightforward. You start off by letting them know you like chatting with them, then you suggest meeting up for coffee.
It’s a good way to move from chatting online or through texts to seeing each other face to face. This can help you see what they’re really about.
9. “That sounds like a plan, what day works for you?”
This response shows you’re interested and ready to make plans. Asking for a specific day makes it clear you want to see if they’re really up for it.
This way, you can tell if they’re serious or just talking without any intention of following through.
10. “I’m usually free in the evenings, what about you?”
Telling someone when you’re available makes it simpler for them to pick a time if they want to meet.
It’s a way of showing you’re ready to set aside time for them, hinting you hope they can do the same.
11. “Are we clear on what we both want here?”
This reply is simple and encourages open talk. It asks the other person to be clear about their intentions and see if they match yours.
This method works well because it makes the other person consider if they really want to move the relationship forward or if they’re just leading you on.
It’s a way to ask for clearer communication and find out how serious they are.
12. “I appreciate consistency, so let me know if you’re really interested.”
This shows you value clear and steady communication. It gently lets the person sending you mixed messages know you’re looking for more consistent interaction.
It’s a way of asking them to be more involved or to be honest if they’re not ready for something serious.
This approach keeps things straightforward, indicating you’re after a genuine and stable connection.
13. “It seems like you’re pretty busy. Should we reconnect when you have more time?”
This reply politely acknowledges the other person’s busy schedule while suggesting to pause the chat until they’re ready to talk more.
It’s a kind way to show you understand they have a lot going on, but also that you value both your time and theirs.
It can help the person who’s breadcrumbing see that you’re not always available just when it suits them.
14. “I enjoy our chats, but I’m looking for more than just texting.”
By saying this, you’re letting them know you enjoy your conversations but you need more than texts to feel connected.
It’s a gentle nudge for the other person to consider if they’re ready to put more effort into your relationship, perhaps by starting to call or meet up in person.
15. “Hey, just checking in to see if you’re still interested in keeping this going?”
This message is a straightforward way to ask someone if they’re still interested in keeping the conversation going.
It’s a good method to find out if the other person wants to continue putting in the effort to communicate.
This can lead directly to a clear talk about if both sides are interested in staying in touch.
16. “I feel like we’re not looking for the same things. What are your thoughts?”
This reply is about making sure everyone wants the same thing out of the relationship.
It starts a conversation that can help both people understand each other better or decide it’s better to go separate ways if they’re looking for different things.
This approach helps avoid confusion and ensures everyone knows what to expect.
17. “Let’s plan something concrete if you’re up for it. Are you free this weekend?”
This answer puts the ball in the breadcrumber’s court by suggesting a specific time to meet.
It shifts from just chatting to setting up a real face-to-face meetup, which can show if they’re really interested.
It’s a direct way to see if you’ll get more from them or if they’re not as committed as you are.
18. “I’m really looking for a deeper connection. Are we heading in that direction?”
This message is about figuring out if there’s a chance for a stronger emotional bond.
It makes the person who’s been giving just enough attention to consider if they’re ready or willing to get closer.
This step is key in deciding whether it’s worth putting more feelings into this relationship or if it’s time to move on.
19. “Your sporadic messages are confusing. Can we clarify what this is?”
This message tackles the problem of getting mixed messages. It’s about asking openly for some clarity to better understand what’s happening with your exchanges.
This can help remove any confusion and set up a clearer way of communicating, whether that leads to continuing the conversation or stopping it.
20. “I value transparency and honesty. Are we on the same page?”
Lastly, this response underscores the importance of transparency and honesty in your interactions.
It requests a straightforward answer about where you both stand, emphasizing the need for open communication.
This can help ensure that both parties are clear about their intentions and expectations.
You can read our guide for response to We Should Talk More, Give My Regards to the Family responses, response to “What are you Wearing”, and Replying to “It has Been a Long Day.”
How do you Respond to Bread Crumbs?
When someone sends me bread crumbs, like just giving me little bits of attention now and then, I try to stay calm about it.
First, I ask myself what I really want out of this relationship. If I feel like I’m being strung along, I might step back and give them space.
Sometimes, I’ll openly talk about how their behavior makes me feel, aiming for an honest and respectful conversation.
So, it’s important for me to remember my worth and not settle for less than I deserve.
How to Win Against a Breadcrumber?
Facing someone who’s breadcrumbing is tough, but I’ve found clear communication is key. I express my feelings honestly and set boundaries.
I say directly what I want in a relationship and ask them if they can meet those expectations.
If they can’t, I take a step back. It’s about respecting myself and what I need from a relationship.
Sometimes, it means walking away, but it’s better than being strung along.
What Does a Breadcrumber Want?
I believe a breadcrumber wants to keep their options open while making sure they still have your attention.
They send small, non-committal messages that don’t lead to something meaningful or a real relationship, but they do this to ensure you’re still there and interested in them.
It feels as if they want the benefits of your attention and affection without putting in the effort for a true connection.