Whether you’re at a family gathering, sending a text, or just hanging out, cracking a joke with your cousin always adds a spark to the moment.
Our cousins are often our first friends, and there’s a unique bond that sets the stage for a lifetime of fun and laughter.
So, in this article we’ll discover 100+ funny things to say to your cousin, funny text messages, and pranks.
Let’s begin!
Funny Things to Say to Your Cousin
- “If we got a dollar every time our moms compared us, we’d be millionaires by now.”
- “Remember when we thought we were ninjas? Good times, bad moves.”
- “I know we’re family, but can you stop copying my awesomeness?”
- “Our family tree must be a cactus because we’re all a little prickly.”
- “You’re the cheese to my macaroni, but sometimes, you’re just the noodle.”
- “Was it our grandma who said we could be anything? Because you’re really taking it seriously.”
- “I’d challenge you to a battle of wits, but it’s clear you’re unarmed.”
- “You’re not just my cousin; you’re my involuntary test subject.”
- “Our shared genes must be the lazy ones because neither of us likes to get up before noon.”
- “We’re the reason our family has a ‘do not discuss at the dinner table’ list.”
- “If our family is a zoo, you’re definitely the monkey everyone comes to see.”
- “Sometimes I wonder if we’re related or just two weirdos who happened to share DNA.”
- “You’re the only person I can send a weird meme without an explanation.”
- “Our family gatherings are more competitive than the Olympics, and we’re the reigning champions.”
- “Are we cousins or soulmates? Because I can read your weird mind.”
- “Remember that time we got in trouble and blamed the dog? Good times.”
- “You’re the person I mention when I say, ‘I have a story, but don’t tell anyone.'”
- “We don’t just share family; we share the ‘eye roll’ talent.”
- “You’re the Robin to my Batman, but sometimes, you’re more of the Joker.”
- “I’m pretty sure we were meant to be twins, but the universe couldn’t handle it.”
- “You’re the sprinkle of chaos on my life’s sundae.”
- “Our childhood was sponsored by ‘What were we thinking?’ moments.”
- “If being awesome was a crime, we’d be serving life sentences.”
- “We’re not saying we’re Batman and Robin, but have you ever seen us and Batman and Robin in the same room?”
- “Remember when we thought ‘adulting’ would be fun? Joke’s on us.”
- “Our secret handshake is cooler than anything in the FBI.”
- “We’re the kind of family chaos you can’t explain but also wouldn’t trade.”
- “If our lives were a TV show, we’d definitely be the comic relief.”
- “Our family isn’t normal; we transcend normalcy. We’re fantastically weird.”
- “You’re the yin to my yang, but sometimes you’re just the ping to my pong.”
- “We’ve been through it all, haven’t we? Except jail, but we’re young. There’s time.”
- “Our favorite pastime is making our parents wonder where they went wrong.”
- “We’re not just cousins; we’re a force of nature. Beware world.”
- “You’re the only one who makes family reunions bearable and bizarrely fun.”
- “We might share genes, but I definitely got the better wardrobe.”
- “Together, we could probably rule the world, but we’re too lazy.”
- “Our memories could fill a book, preferably a comic one.”
- “We’re the perfect duo – you make the plans, and I’ll find the flaws.”
- “Our adventures should come with a warning label.”
- “When we’re together, it’s not mischief; it’s an adventure.”
- “We’re like a small gang, but mainly for snacks and lazy days.”
- “I love how we can communicate with just facial expressions.”
- “We’re not weird; we’re limited edition and proud.”
- “You’re my partner in crime, but seriously, don’t do anything illegal without me.”
- “We’ve both got that ‘best cousin award’ locked down. It’s a tie.”
- “Who needs superheroes when I’ve got you as my cousin?”
- “Our dance moves at family weddings should be preserved for posterity.”
- “We’re the ones our parents warned us about.”
- “Together, we’re unstoppable. Separately, we’re still pretty cool.”
- “Our family reunions? They’re more like a circus, and we’re the main act.”
Funny Cousin One-Liner
- “Cousins are those childhood playmates who grow up to be forever friends.”
- “Family gatherings are more fun when you have cousins who act more like siblings.”
- “Having a cousin is like having a built-in best friend for life.”
- “Cousins by blood, partners in crime by choice.”
- “Who needs superheroes when you’ve got a cousin?”
- “Cousins: the first friends we make and the last ones we argue with over dessert.”
- “Cousins are like fudge — mostly sweet with a few nuts!”
- “Our parents made us cousins; our craziness made us friends.”
- “Cousins: because parents couldn’t handle us as siblings.”
- “Cousins by chance, friends by choice, and troublemakers by habit.”
- “With cousins, every day is a reunion.”
- “It’s not what we have, but who we have in life, and I got the best cousin.”
- “Reunion planning strategy: counting cousins instead of sheep.”
- “Cousins are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.”
- “I smile because you’re my cousin. I laugh because there’s nothing you can do about it.”
- “Cousins are like stars; you don’t always see them, but you know they’re always there.”
- “In my cousin, I find a second self.”
- “Forget Batman and Robin; my cousin and I make the best dynamic duo.”
- “Cousins are cool to see, impossible to forget, and true to your heart.”
- “Life is better with cousins around.”
- “Cousins are the barometers of how fun a family gathering will be.”
- “Cousins? More like culprits!”
- “Together with my cousin, I’m unstoppable.”
- “Cousins are the people that made family gatherings bearable.”
- “Cousins are the first friends and the best teammates.”
- “A cousin is a ready-made friend for life.”
- “You know you’ve hit the jackpot when you have a cousin as your BFF.”
- “Who needs a diary when you have a cousin to spill your heart to?”
- “Cousins are essentially the bonus siblings life gives us.”
- “First we were cousins, then we became trouble.”
- “Cousins by blood. Friends by heart. Co-conspirators for life.”
- “Cousins are connected heart to heart; neither distance nor time can break them apart.”
- “If you think I’m crazy, you should meet my cousin!”
- “Having a cool cousin is like owning a real-life cheat code.”
- “Cousins: genetically programmed to be your accomplice.”
- “Cousins are the best allies you’re born with.”
- “Cousins are the pinky promises of a great childhood.”
- “With a cousin, even the dumbest ideas are worth a try.”
- “Cousins are those rare people who make you laugh a bit louder and smile a bit brighter.”
- “Sleepovers at cousins’ are staycations at besties’.”
- “My cousin is my reminder of why we’re glad we’re not an only child.”
- “Mess with me, and you face my cousin. Mess with him, and you face chaos!”
- “Cousins are the chocolate chips of the family cookies.”
- “Every superhero needs a sidekick; glad I have my cousin for that role.”
- “Having a cousin more adventurous than you is the ultimate blessing.”
- “Cousins are the perfect partners in the dance of family dramas.”
- “Worried about family secrets? Remember, your cousin knows them all too!”
- “Cousins are God’s way of blessing us with never-ending friendship.”
- “A world without cousins is like a pizza without cheese, unimaginable.”
- “Cousins are those rare treasures that make you wealthy in love and joy.”
Funny Cousin Text Messages
- “Did we just become best friends? Yep!”
- “Family gatherings: 5% formalities, 95% our meme exchange.”
- “Remember when we were little and we thought adults had it all figured out? Joke’s on us.”
- “Is it just me, or does grandma always know when we’re up to no good?”
- “Our DNA is loaded with craziness and I’m not mad about it.”
- “I’d take a bullet for you! Not in the head… but like, in the leg or something.”
- “Who needs superheroes when you have a cousin like you?”
- “Cousin therapy sessions: cheaper than a psychiatrist and twice as effective.”
- “We’re the reason our family has a ‘do not discuss’ list at dinner.”
- “Our family tree is more like a cactus, full of pricks but we’re the flowers.”
- “If our parents knew half our childhood schemes, we’d still be grounded.”
- “You’re my built-in bestie for life. No returns or exchanges.”
- “We might not have it all together, but together we have it all… and a bit of crazy.”
- “Cousin by blood, partners in crime by choice.”
- “We’re like a really small gang. A clumsy, dysfunctional gang.”
- “Should we tell them we turned out awesome or keep it our little secret?”
- “Our family motto: We put the ‘fun’ in dysfunctional.”
- “You’re the ‘text at 3 am for no reason’ kind of cousin and I love it.”
- “Who needs a diary when you have a cousin to spill your secrets to?”
- “Hide the evidence. Grandma’s coming. Yes, this message counts as evidence.”
Funny Cousin Pranks
- Switcheroo: Swap out their smartphone with a nearly identical, but completely non-functional, model. Watch their confusion when it won’t turn on!
- Air Horn Chair: Tape an air horn under their chair so when they sit down, they get a loud surprise.
- Faux Bug: Place realistic-looking fake bugs in places your cousin frequents – under their pillow, in their shoe, or on their desk.
- Mentos Ice Bomb: Freeze Mentos candies in ice cubes and offer your cousin a soda. Once the ice melts, prepare for an explosive reaction.
- Saran Wrap Doorway: Stretch saran wrap across their bedroom doorway at chest height. It’s invisible and guarantees a laugh when they walk into it.
- Soap That Won’t Lather: Coat their bar of soap with clear nail polish and watch them try to lather up.
- Colored Water: Put a few drops of food coloring inside the faucet head – red is particularly shocking.
- Auto-Correct Prank: Change words in their phone’s auto-correct settings to something silly. “Yes” to “Yasss” or “No” to “Nay-nay!”
- Fake Remote: Take control of the TV with a second remote and surreptitiously change channels or adjust the volume while they watch.
- Mouse Surprise: Attach a fake mouse to the end of a string and gently pull it across the room when they are least expecting it.
You can read funny things to Son In-Law, say your Best Friend’s Boyfriend, Funny things to Say to Your Dog, and funny to Say to Your Aunt.
Funny Cousin Memes
- “When you both show up to the family reunion and realize you’re the only cool cousins there.”
- “That moment your cousin finds your secret snack stash and promises not to tell.”
- “Trying to explain to our grandma how we’re related, and it feels like a math problem.”
- “When you and your cousin get left at the kids’ table but you’re both in your twenties.”
- “Cousins by blood, partners in crime by choice.”
- “That one cousin who always starts a food fight at family dinners and makes it epic.”
- “When your cousin knows all your secrets because they’ve been your partner in every crime since childhood.”
- “That face we make when our parents compare our grades… again.”
- “When you try to outdo each other’s ugly Christmas sweater and it becomes a holiday tradition.”
- “The pact between cousins: What happens at the cousins’ sleepover, stays at the cousins’ sleepover.”
