Dealing with a narcissist can often feel like walking through a minefield; you never quite know what might trigger an explosion.
However, humor, when used carefully, can be a surprising tool in navigating these interactions.
In this article, we’ll provide you with 70+ funny things you can say to a narcissist; not to provoke but to disarm, redirect.
Let’s begin!
50 Funny Things to Say a Narcissist
The funniest things to say to a Narcissist are pretty cheeky, but all in good fun. For example, you could say, “I bet even your mirror gets tired of looking at you!” or “Is it hard being the center of the universe? Seems exhausting!”
You can also look at these 50 things to say a narcissist:
- “Wow, did you teach Narcissus a few tricks?”
- “Is there an ‘I’ in ‘team’? Because you found it!”
- “Did you get a trophy for loving yourself so much?”
- “Do mirrors pay you for the privilege of reflection?”
- “Ever get jealous of how much time you spend with yourself?”
- “Is your autobiography a solo interview?”
- “Who needs fans with that level of self-admiration?”
- “Do you send yourself flowers on Valentine’s Day?”
- “Is talking to me like a charity event for you?”
- “Guess what? The world called – said it revolves around the sun, not you!”
- “Do you charge yourself for a meet and greet?”
- “Are you your own best advice columnist?”
- “Have you considered charging admission for your monologues?”
- “Do selfies ask for your autograph?”
- “Was Narcissus your understudy?”
- “Is loving yourself a full-time job?”
- “Do you get lost staring into your own eyes?”
- “How’s life at the center of the universe?”
- “Do you send thank you cards to yourself?”
- “Is your favorite teamwork exercise a solo project?”
- “Did you give yourself a medal for participation?”
- “Ever worry about wearing out mirrors?”
- “Does your favorite echo your own voice?”
- “Do you have a fan club or is it just a mirror?”
- “Are you the reason they invented selfie sticks?”
- “Do you write love letters to yourself?”
- “Is your life a quest for the Mirror of Erised?”
- “Have you considered cloning? One of you isn’t enough?”
- “Is your motto ‘If you can’t love yourself, who can?'”
- “Do you put your own photos in ‘World’s Most Beautiful’ lists?”
- “Is every day a ‘you’ day?”
- “‘Me, myself, and I’ – your favorite love story?”
- “Do you throw surprise parties for yourself?”
- “Is your favorite drama ‘The Chronicles of Me’?”
- “How do you cope with sharing the spotlight with the moon at night?”
- “Is your favorite debate topic ‘why am I right’?”
- “Do you have a personal hall of mirrors?”
- “Did you crown yourself king of self-love?”
- “Ever get tired of winning your own approval?”
- “Is your spirit animal a peacock?”
- “I’d ask how you’re doing, but it seems like you’ve covered it.”
- “Is ‘How to be me’ the next book you’re writing?”
- “Do you have a map for every time you get lost in your thoughts?”
- “Is your favorite crowd just a room full of mirrors?”
- “How’s the weather in your world?”
- “Is your favorite game solitaire?”
- “Ever throw a party and realize it’s just your reflection in the room?”
- “Do you practice autographs for when you meet yourself?”
- “Is your diary just a list of fan mail to yourself?”
- “How many awards have you given yourself today?”
15 Funny Things to Say to a Narcissist Parents
- “Wow, did the mirror get enough of you today?”
- “I guess the ‘Best Parent of the Year’ award is in the mail?”
- “Oh, so it’s an all-about-you day again. How unusual!”
- “You should give lessons on how to be the center of the universe.”
- “Did you invent parenting? You act like it sometimes.”
- “Oops, I forgot the world revolves around you. My bad.”
- “Look at that, another day where you outdo yourself in self-admiration!”
- “Is there a competition for ‘World’s Greatest Narcissist’ you’re entering?”
- “You must have a Ph.D. in talking about yourself.”
- “It’s impressive how you turn every conversation into an autobiography.”
- “How do you manage to be the hero of every story you tell?”
- “Your ability to focus on yourself is Olympic level.”
- “Is there an off button for your ego or is it always on?”
- “You should teach a master class in self-absorption.”
- “Do you get tired of being in the spotlight, or is it energizing?”
15 Funny Things to Say to a Narcissist Partner
- “Oh, was it your reflection you were chatting with all this time? And here I thought you had a new friend.”
- “I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”
- “Wow, did the hall of mirrors call, asking for their star back?”
- “You’re so good at giving compliments! You give them to yourself all day long.”
- “Do you need a map to find someone else in the conversation or you’re good?”
- “Is talking to me like a commercial break for you, between your monologues?”
- “If self-obsession were an Olympic sport, you’d definitely be a gold medalist.”
- “I missed what you said after ‘I’m the best’ – it was the hundredth time, so I zoned out.”
- “Is there an app to translate things from Narcissist to English?”
- “Do you put as much effort into listening as you do into talking about yourself?”
- “Should I just schedule my conversations in your ‘Me Time’ calendar?”
- “It’s cute how you think the world revolves around you. Is it flat, too?”
- “Did you hear that? It’s the sound of everyone else’s interest in your story leaving the room.”
- “Were you a mirror in your past life? You seem really into reflections.”
- “If only we got a dollar every time you found a way to bring you up in conversation, we’d be millionaires.”
15 Funny Things to Say to a Narcissist Coworker
- “Wow, did the office get brighter, or is it just your self-admiration glowing again?”
- “Is it tiring having to carry around that enormous ego all day?”
- “I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”
- “Careful not to trip on that pedestal you put yourself on.”
- “You must have been born on a highway because that’s where most accidents happen.”
- “Oops, I forgot to roll out the red carpet for you this morning.”
- “Please, tell me more about yourself. I always yawn when I’m interested.”
- “Do you need a license for driving everyone up the wall, or is it just a natural talent?”
- “Was it a hard choice today, deciding between being charming or modest?”
- “I would ask how old you are, but I know you can’t count that high.”
- “You’re proof that even gods have a sense of humor.”
- “If you were any more self-involved, you’d be a knot.”
- “You always bring me so much joy—as soon as you leave the room.”
- “You’re like a cloud. When you disappear, it’s a beautiful day.”
- “Don’t worry, I’m fluent in ‘bragging disguised as humility’ thanks to you.”
You can read funny things to say when win a game, funny things to daughter’s boyfriend, write on Shirt signing day, and funny farewell messages to colleagues.
15 Funny Things to Say to a Narcissist Friend
- “Wow, did the museum call? They noticed a masterpiece was missing.”
- “Do you get WiFi signal with all that self-absorption? Must be a strong connection.”
- “Should I call you Google? Because you have everything figured out, apparently.”
- “If talking about yourself was a job, you’d be a billionaire by now.”
- “You should donate your ego to science; it’s vast enough to explore.”
- “Is it exhausting being this remarkable, or does it come naturally?”
- “Do mirrors pay you a royalty for looking at them so much?”
- “If you were a vegetable, you’d be a ‘cabbageme,’ cause it’s all about you.”
- “Oops! Did I interrupt the 24/7 ‘All About You’ show?”
- “You’re like a dictionary; you add meaning to yourself every day.”
- “Was it a full-time job mastering the art of self-admiration?”
- “Your autobiography must be a best-seller in your head already.”
- “How’s the weather up there on that pedestal you put yourself on?”
- “You must be tired from running in my mind, talking about yourself all day.”
- “If self-love paid, you’d be the richest person on earth, wouldn’t you?”
